I wish costco sold astroglide.
i wish my brain was less awake, and didn't try and picture what you were talking about.
Brandon just fucked that chick! I tried to warn him but T9 said she had "puppy roses" instead of "pussy sores"
so i told him i have my period and he put his head by my vagina and said "I HATE YOU!"
omg kevin jonas gave his bride a glass slipper..could he be any gayer then he is now
he is so gay. he makes clay aiken look straight. what is wrong with the lady that married him? kevin must be envious of her balls
So thanks to the xanax and vodka memory erasering combo i wake up only to reopen a picture of some very familiar balls
battery dying...get laid and text me after...or during...its whatever.
I never thought I'd say this, but there is a life threatening amount of rumpleminz in our freezer
The bar owner gave me permission to push people into the pool. I'm never going to leave Los Angeles
Well she just peed in a pot and is now trying to boil it
We were escorted through the guys dorm by 5 kids with nerf guns and zelda shields. I felt like the president with a fucked up secret service squad.
I just want it to be said that I had sex in my Belle dress last night. Classy motherfucker.
I have a strong contender for the new number 1 position for fwb. He met me at the door with pizza and a shot of patron
Okay so how much boob would you consider inappropriate for smart casual?
The first thing I did when I got to the apartment was masturbate on the couch
Thank you for stopping me from getting a butt tattoo. That was a good call.
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