Honestly there's alot of things I'm confused about the only thing I know for certain about last night is that I ate pizza
TXT her NOW! The phone is actually IN her Va-Jay-Jay!!
You know you have a problem when the only thing that saves you is that you drank so late into the night that you sleep through the designated walk of shame time window
I still think it's messed up that you're naming your kids after all the guys you slept with in college
I feel like I'm full of double a batteries and cocaine.
How is it that I've hooked up with not one but two guys in the children's section of a bookstore tonight?
I tore the muscle in my left calf at the gym and still spent all evening in heels. UNSTOPPABLE!
View of Vancouver Bay is obscured though the greasy hand prints from fucking against the window. Tip maid well.
My nonexistent future grandchildren will one day ask me when I knew I'd lost control of my life. And now I know.
Just peed out a window, not entirely sure it's open. Can't tell. I'll find out in the morning.
Do you remember biting my ear and whispering quotes of Pride and Prejudice last night?
We had sex on the bear rug. He said "you, me and the bear. This is bear-idise"
He just used the word frick. Is that a possible red flag?
They were assless. I wore assless football pants.
I dont pretend to understand how the heterosexual mind works. Its a mysterious cavern of stupidity and disgusting sexual acts.
Randomize
