if you are receiving this text, you are one of the people i hate
Was going to watch Bolt. Fucked a stranger instead. Details later.
So you didn't like Bolt?
new midget porn idea. Wizard of Jizz: Munchkins Revenge
I wish I could get plan B off e-bay so it would be a secret and cheap.
dude i woke up to her making a statue of my morning wood for her sculpture class. HOW THE FUCK do you think i feel about her?
when she asked me if it was possible to swim under north america i knew it was time to leave.
Just been one of those weeks where alcohol out weighs friendship
damn. i can't believe how fast that went from 0 to lesbian
Because guys aren't supposed to cry. Especially when it's over a dude singing a Christmas carol.
You're the reason I lose Never Have I Ever
Just took a shot of 151, rimmned my middle finger in it, lit it on fire and lit a cigarette off it while flicking off my boss. How was your night??
Considering who their parents are, maybe you should use vodka for the baptism.
You humped everything and cried in an uber.
Little girl was fucking around on the train and completely ran her head into a pole. Totally burst out laughing as she cried. Her mom was not amused. I don't think I should be a Mom. EVER.
cant one of your roommates drive you?
You came in my eye once. You owe me.
ill be there in 20
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