I passed out in the cab. Woke up to the cabby yelling SIR SIR WE ARE AT THE TRAIN STATION!! SIRRRR!!
Life lesson learned last night, if you are too drunk to use the atm leave the strip club
I knew I was in the wrong bar when "I have a daughter your age" was some random's pick up line.
Of course I was flustered, I had a lot of penis in my face.
Maybe its all the xanax she takes but she literally has NO shame
May or may not be going home with my jamitor. i'm kiddong, btw, i have no idea. i'll let you know soooon.
I was an emotional waste case that night. She made me stroke her ponytail.
exactly. I want him to have to live with the fact that he fucked me. I want him to look me in the eye and say "you were a drunken mistake".
Almost to my house to grab beer. And pants.
You meet the best people naked in a hot tub at 2 am.
Just took plan b with my eggs and chai...homecoming got the best of me already
There was a clear and well defined point last night where I could've decided to go home but no now I've woken up with glitter all over my nuts and potentially an std or 2
It's official. Post baseball sex is better than post hockey sex. I hope the Blue Jays win the world series.
He suffocated between her tits, but she didn't notice because he still came.
I’m never getting home or fucked or eating hot Taco Bell fml
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