Can you believe The 5th Element didn't get best fight scene in 1997?! I'm still bitter. 12 years later.
Haha how do you remember that?
HOW COULD I FORGET?!
We learned about herpes today in bio. I might as well have given the lecture
she woke up, said "please dont tell me your name, i dont want to remember it"
We need to talk about our relationship.
I just won a bet involving 10 tequila shots. You've got about 3 minutes
Careful when you walk in I'm laying by the door.
I held a cracker & gaterade down for an hour. I feel like this will be my greatest accomplishment of the day.
It's a long way off yet but I've started planning my eviction party. Be prepared, it includes jungle juice.
Now you know for the next time you go in the basement to wear a helmet
There was definitely a significant amount of cookie dough in my bra
Oh thank Jesus fuck for my shitty infertile womb. Crisis averted
He also turned out to be underage (the fucking liar) so we had to get drunk on cooking sherry
I woke up with a thorn in my belly button. A THORN!
If waking up at 6 50 pm every day and getting invited to go have sex as you wake up is what alcoholism is like I can get use to this.
Well I'm sorry I assumed you were a human and that humans have the capability to forget sometimes.
Right after i got done cumming i sat back and gave a big Ric Flair "WOOOOOO!"
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