He keeps apologizing for not being able to get hard when he's drunk. We havent even left the club yet.
my FASA form asked what i spent the majority of my 08 earnings on, im tempted to put "booze, blow, & blunts"
what is the aproppriate waiting time between having sex and playing super Mario brothers
6 min
I will never get the visual of you crying while chewing christmas lights out of my head
the realtor just took us to a house I had a one night stand in. I feel like it's a sign.
Also, what is a socially acceptable way to introduce a crossbow in public?
GUESS WHO GOT ABSOLUTELY WASTED LAST NIGHT AND SPENT AN HOUR RAMBLING ABOUT KRAFT DINNER, HOCKEY, AND THE LAST TEMPTATION OF CHRIST
Will you be my therapist? I don't want to tell me secrets to a strange person and be judged all over again when you have already taken the time to do it. Oh and I will pay you with alcohol
Breakfast of champions
Is that a dick crepe?
It is indeed
I had mdma, weed, and alcohol in my system. My doctor seems to think that's how I tore my groin.
I feel like Jeremy snapchattong while we're fucking is a perfect example of our generation..
I have the rest of my life to settle down this is totally time for friends and pizza
Someone stole a lamp last night.
She had a baby Jesus butt plug
Do it break your family into faction start a civil war
Randomize
