In line at the arbys drive thru on foot. Legendary.
It's hipsters with their motorcycle cop mustaches, moccasins, douchey irony, and department stores to supply their independent conformity
Something's gotta give!
It's 10am. I'm hungover wearing a flyers jersey and a phillies hat and eating a cheesesteak. I'm not the only one. Best city ever.
I demand visitation hours with the duck.
There are pictures of you on the shoulders of some old guy dressed as borat
Wow. This hand sanitizer smells awesome. It's like I just gave a handjob to a fruit basket.
Dude. That is just waaaay to much random to process after that tequila battle.
He brought her home and fucked her in a gingerbread man costume in a cardboard rapunzel castle. He had a pretty good night.
Using the random money I found in my bra from Halloween to pay to print my bio notes. I only brought a debit to the bar. College win.
it's not that I hate people, I just want to rip most of their faces off.
Dude so help me god I WILL weigh a penis one day
Harry Potter pub crawl tonight. You know you're living your life right when your check list for the evening is wizard robes, wand and acid.
i feel like if we ever had babies together they would just be drunk all the time
But we made up last night and had unbelievably crazy sex tonight. I legit went blind for like 15mins from him choking me. It was awesome
at the time fanning him with a dish tray seemed like a good idea but when we found it buried in the dirt the next morning i questioned our judgement. needless to say he still threw up even with the extra breeze.
Randomize
