where am i from again
Considering last night's endeavors, I am going to hell 5 times over. 1 for puking on a hobo, 1 for laughing about it, and 3 for remembering it today and laughing about it sober
he screamed my twitter name while we were having sex.
he actually proposed, and i threw up on him...i guess 5 glasses of wine was a bad idea.
I love how adderall is equivalent to money on a college campus. just got a ride home and paid the driver in adderall...yeeah buddy
This is worse than the time I broke into Subway to steal bread.
when i spit it made a heart shape. i think it's a sign
Are you stuck outside of your house because you forgot to walk up stairs? Cuz I've been there.
strip vodka pong is never a good idea. I saw into his colon when he picked up the ball off the floor
my mom tried to talk to me about my drinking, i somehow turned it around on her, now shes going to AA and I'm going to the bar.
I hope you get your threesome on vday. I'll probably get flowers and a candlelit dinner. trade you. I wish this guy was more of a slut and had less of a heart. I would like 2 dicks please fuck your flowers!
I TOOK A FINGER IN THE BUTT YOU CAN OPEN THIS MESSAGE
I am so sorry. Not sure for what, but whatever I did last night probably merits an apology, so I'm covering my bases.
I wouldn't be able to live with myself if I blew a Trump supporter.
Is 10AM too early for pizza and Dr. Pepper?
Only if 5PM is too early to be drunk. And when has that ever stopped us?
Randomize
