If that was your dad, he is hot
i ditched last period to have sex with him. i had to change into my skank clothes in the church parking lot. little kids were on the swings.
nothing about this is right.
in hindsight, $10 Malibu buckets were a terrible idea...
The stripper had a daughter my age and offered to introduce us. I didn't know what to say to that.
and yes i will spend 10 dollars on a vibrating toothbrush to masturbate but not a calculator for my test
So he ended up throwing a watermelon that he stole from the cafeteria saying "if i cant have it no one can" of the 5th floor.
Some daaay... Bet your bottom dollar that some daaay you'll do that mollyyyy
probably one of the worst weekends ever... i got peed on by his sleepwalking roommate.
I run into you far too many times while completely stoned and/or drunk for this not to be fate. It's like god is telling you to fuck me.
It has been happening a lot lately.
This is three metal detector wands away from being the strangest porn I have ever been in the audience for.
I sent him this really overly apologetic text asking him out. It was just sad. Not even 27 shots of whiskey can grow me a self-esteem.
He was wearing running shoes tho. Thats like the cardinal rule. You don't fuck a guy who wears running shoes as regular shoes.
Once he bit me I drew the fucking line.
woke up with 4 bruises, 2 hickies and a bad case of rug burn. texans are dangerous.
How do you confess that you've had phone sex with your fiancé's brother's ex-girlfriend's new guy she's dating who has also slept with your best friend?
Randomize
