I tried watching the view, i got through 8 minutes. That is probably a world record.
They always sound like a bunch of chickens.
so after all day drinking, we went to an all u can eat crab place and i was going from table to table surveying the crowd if they though the crab i was carrying around looked like the flying dog from never ending story...what the hell is wrong with me?
I'm okay, they said the swelling should go down in a week. But next time I'm shitwrecked, please make sure to remind me that I can't open a champagne bottle with corkscrew.
She said she could kiss it, just not put it in her mouth. Because that would be cheating..
I was so high i believed someone when they told me le moyne beat syracuse
I'm hiding behind a bush in mens clothing next to a ducks crossing sign. There are joggers. Please hurry.
i chugged some hot sauce before i gave him head. i think a burning penis is a great way to say fuck you
Now that I've lowered my makeout age to 21 I have a whole new sea to fish in.
I'm sorry but I have to break up with you. My wife is pregnant and can't have a girlfriend too.
I'm on the struggle bus
just ordered a number 1 at a fast food restaurant that doesn't have numbers
He snapchatted me his dick and he's circumcised....BRB going to hug his Mom
Just watched two people have sex in the pool. Hope you enjoy your yeast infection courtesy of the comfort inn.
well he never texted me back and the pizza I took my rage out didn't deserve such malice
slept with a 6'5 mountain man from Montana and then he played 'Girls Just Wanna Have Fun' on repeat..
i didnt realize that your first thought would be SEXUALIZING BREAD
Randomize
