did you wind up at some random place? and do you remember face planting into the fireplace?
the only time it's appropriate to sing In The Air Tonight by Phils Collins is while sake bombing at Cal Beach
um or while having sex on a train
ok understand this, i didn't pay for your dinner bc you said i wasn't going to get a blowjob for at least a month... this isn't a mail-in rebate deal, you gotta pay upfront
i dont feel like going...you don't know how much work goes into getting my whore on
Am I allowed to say that I would really enjoy blowing you again? Or does that fall into the "nothing changes between us" catagory?
She just admitted to me that she was a pinecone.
I made a blanket fort and am drinking Gatorade and eating donuts watching 500 days of summer. I can't keep spending my saturdays like this.
I found my keys in the basement freezer. Drunk me is a sneaky little bastard.
They invented a new game at work. Its called guess if I'm baked, hungover, drunk, or some combination of the three. Its surprisingly very difficult..
she basically told me that her vine videos last longer that I do
Well, he hasn't actually seen me naked. Just my boobs... and the left side of my vagina.
She stopped me mid sex to ask if she could finish my ramen, I've found the one.
I feel like I could have been bitchier and missed an opportunity.
So we were fooling around last night and suddenly Like A Virgin popped up on his itunes
OMG haha What did he say?
He told me that if I laughed, I would have to leave.
Currently eating a pop tart in my underwear waiting for the washer. Not one of my prouder moments.
Randomize
