ive been sending my husband naked pics of my whole body from my phone..its a work phone. do you think our boss can see? if so, im either getting fired, or a raise.
There's a technique?! I just slide my tongue around
can you explain to me why you commented on every one of my profile pics with "tits and beer ftw" please and thank you.
This pizza tastes like mashed potatoes. HOW HIGH DO YOU THINK I AM?
Just used the D.E.N.N.I.S system successfully.
I don't appreciate the fact that you tagged me as a giant bucket Miracle Whip.
when we went to bed he asked me to hold his penis so he knew i was there for him
The worst part about getting "creative" and by that i mean baked is that i just wanna get laid right now and all im doing is eating nachos
Is 1:30 too early for the bar?
Do you want my opinion or society's?
I want your company
I know you saw me get knocked out after I stepped on that rake why did you leave me there
SOME DUDE PUT OUT FOR A MCCHICKEN AND YET YOU STILL WON'T FUCK ME
It isn't about the beer pong. It is about the destruction of the patriarchy.
HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED
I mean, it's good for a lot of things. Just not the inside of your vagina
Well neither is bbq sauce but I dont judge kinks
Working from home has been great for my sex life! A few of my neighbors are in open marriages and several more wish they were!!!
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