Earlier, I saw a homeless man that looked like Abe Lincoln, and I just saw a guy walk past wearing crocs and socks. I'm beginning to like this city less and less
What are you talking about? And how drunk are you?
Both
from all the glitter we used it actually looked like a disco stick
I just named my vagina "The Boneyard"
More like "Chia Pet"
she looks like stephen colbert with that blond wig he was wearing last night.
we fucked while he was on the clock. He didnt even take off his bullet proof vest. Dont tell me thats not bad ass.
Well unless he sent his sperm via fedex, this baby isnt his
Because selling drugs to kids never goes out of business. We get older, they stay the same stupid.
Shes 18 and still has a curfew. it was great. didnt have to worry about her still being here in the morning.
He just showed up on my porch naked with just a blanket and a trash bag
I need a genital shamwow being this wet.
I told my dad that he was in a band and he was all like " good job" and then he looked up the band and listened to their music and just went " oh have you disappointed me"
I think vodka/water/skittles totally beats your crystal light mimosas
You will be reminded everyday when you witness my majestic mustache.
I've been eaten out in coupes, sedans, trucks, suv's, you name it. If I can do it in a smart car, you can do it in a vw beetle.
I knew you were the expert on doing it in public. You need to get paid for your advise
Randomize