So we tried to 69 with him on top. NEVER TRY IT. His balls were in my eyes and it was terrifying.
flash back: i gave smirnoff to a group of children at walmart
This is the LAST time i'm accepting the excuse "tequila made me do it". Even tequila thinks buying all of nickelback's itunes singles is fucking retarded
I JUST WOKE UP ON A TRAIN
I SHUDNT B ON A TRAIN
I just want to apologize for screaming when I saw you the other day. It's just that you looked really gross and I was high.
And then like 10 minutes later they were taking a bath together. HOW DOES HE DO IT.
So you used a whole package of smoked meat last night. Didn't eat it, just took it out and put it all over the fridge.
Did I tell you I had a charge show up for $36 on a credit card I haven't used in 6 months from Wild Wings? It was that night we slept across the street from the bar.
I really have a thing for Greek chicks; I feel like while we are having sex she has the ability to make hummus which is just too appealing for me to pass up.
i think i just asked a donut if it was ok
you told the police officer you wanted to be just like her one day but not a lesbian
To the point, I hope I remember where to put my dick when I finally get laid again
You have a 50 50 chance
The dude is a cop how would I ever date a cop I wouldn't be able to talk about the first TWENTY-SEVEN years of my life!
Can you please stop having such an active social life? I'm tryna get fucked over here
His balls will have been in my mouth at least once by this time tomorrow.
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