yo my bday is less then one week away. hope youve found another annoying candian i can lick dairy products off of. also sorry about your loss
OH RELAX, IT WAS PITY SEX.....
Spaghetti and Car Bombs, good idea or what will end up on the bar in a few minutes?
Wish I didn't live with 3 girls so I could beat off in peace.
corn on the cob and anal lube are not substitutes for the real thing
Just met someone from Jersey. No fist pumps or jagerbombs. Kind of disappointed...
We had to coat check the pizza.
He came home all fucked up crying slammed his bedroom door and all we could hear for about three hours was THIS ISN'T GONA RUIN MYLIFe what happend
I told him I got this chick pregnant and he has to get a new wingman
Dude. I knoww what ur thinking. Yes, your hand hurts. It's because you fell through a window. If and when you wake up, go to the hospital.
...if you're living vicariously thought me, that was a great blow job you just gave in the B&N parking lot.
I've been asked to reupholster their slam-couch so I found some off-cuts of medical-grade, hermetically sealed fabric. She'll be slammed upon for generations to come.
It's disgusting. He breathes through his mouth and just sounds fat. Plus he chews all loud and shit.
I really should have gone with the man who kept offering me cocaine. Why did I chose the German!? STUPID!
...I think I just watched a boy make a sandwich seductively. What.
She said she wanted you to slurp her vagina like a spaghetti noodle.
Randomize
