Its like im going on a blind date, but ive already had sex with her
I think I'm cybering, it's been a while and its more in depth than it was in 8Th grade.
We need to start having rules for the weekends. Like no more downing 3 shots because we want to slut dance a little harder or because biggie just came on.
I had to download the flashlight app so I could finish taking a dump when the power went out.
...and all my boxers are outside in the snow because????
If you're still on campus there's a jack and coke in the bathroom of fondren science Bldg. Too strong to bring to class.
On an unrelated note, i found out who duct taped shoelaces to my face
I'm by the dj to the left. Come get me now this girl is talking about baby names and I dnt even no hers
I can't see you
I'm the only one that's wearing a tarzan outfit get your ass over here you douche
In 30 minutes I will have been sober for an entire month. Time for a celebratory lap of cheap alcohol that leads to early liver failure.
But happy liver failure. That's what counts.
Lesson learned the hard way. If it's a "no" on a dating site, it's also a no if you ever run into the person anyplace in public. It's a slap if you mention wanting to poke.
I need Jameson.
Yea? How do you think I feel? Your job during the delivery is to keep that flask ready. The moment our kid pops out, I'm taking a shot.
Going to be a long day. text me later. Sorry I puked in your sink.
I just wanted to be nice to your dick and you are rhyming at me.
I just forgot I was standing up.
gin. gin. Gin. GIN GIN GINGINFFdJH
Randomize
