I'm in the mood to be taken advantage of ;-)
fuck dude i blacked out on a tuesday. what am i doing with my life?
Winning.
It's amazing how much better one feels once you put something in your vagina.
He woke up, mumbled "silverware", and went back to sleep
Dude, Taco Bell gave me a free fiesta potatoes when I won a bet on wether I could fit the entire rim of a cup in my mouth.
not saying it was a bad idea to throw an impromptu party but someone stole the microwave
Just think of your bundle of joy thats on its way. And how hes gunna rip your vagina apart
Die.
So apparently they remodeled our middle school. Looks like we'll need to find a new roof to play beer pong on this summer.
You went in the back with her.. And honestly I couldn't tell her neck from her tits man..
You FaceTimed your mom in the back of the limo telling her how many guys you hooked up with at the concert
Would it be sad if I made a blanket fort to get drunk in till the power came back?
Your vagina felt like having sex with thanksgiving mashed potatoes. The best kind of mashed potatoes
the bartender knew what was up when i took a sip of my drink, gagged and asked her to water down my water
I shouldn't have that kind of responsibility when the prospect of being high is readily available. All I could do was hula hoop and smoke cigarettes last night. My remembrance of anything important was out the window.
You chose shitty college football over this pussy and my cute little mouth. That's your fault.
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