She highfived me after i yelled "I'm the clit-commander!" when i came. kevin smith fan and clearly a keeper
Just saw cops pull over the ice cream truck. What a dick
Well I think that's a good thing that I'm not full of someone else.
i just set an alarm for noon. fuck yes winter break.
if my spotter knew I was listening to the Wicked soundtrack on my iPod, I wouldn't even be mad if he dropped the barbell on my throat
You were doing downward dog and puking off my deck at the same time.
I think we should roll her a welcome back, sorry your godmom's on life support blunt.
I just looked at a girl and was like what disease does she have? And then my mind caught up ohhh shes pregnant.
You're such an expert partier. I feel like 22-year-old recent graduates should have to intern with you.
I'm a pro at the other 9-5
My alarm clock on my phone was changed to Fat Bottom Girls over the weekend, and I just now noticed. I'm actually okay w that after Mardi Gras. Well done, random. Well done.
I mean like if I stood up my head might pull me down like an anchor
I think my penis runs off weed. I haven't smoked it 3 days and I have no sex drive what so ever
I can make a sex schedule on Excel and send it to you guys
I just said "I love my cat" as a hobby.
I just want him to make us coffee. And whack off into the sunset
Randomize
