Last night while we were having sex, 'God bless the USA' started playing on his itunes. He came almost immediately... so awkward.
I hraet yuo
did you say you heart me or hate me?
who is this?
filled out health questionnaire for lower premiums a little bit too honestly. Literally got assigned a life coach.
I JUST WOKE UP ON A TRAIN
I SHUDNT B ON A TRAIN
i just realized why god gave us younger siblings....to DD for us when we come home for the summers
You couldn't hold yourhead up but you managed to unzip my zipper. That's skill..
he was like the dessert in the all you can eat man buffet that has become my life.
Turns out puking in your mask makes it even harder to see out of the mask..
When this bachelor party is over and your life is in ruins, you have my permission to die.
He is really drunk but I just found $20 so it's like I am getting paid to babysit
She didn't complain to the library attendant about us being too loud. She complained after you grabbed her highlighter off the table to stir vodka into your tumbler with.
high moment I think I just reached personal nirvana
For the record you're a very classy lady and your love for and mastery of strap-ons is amazing. I would gladly marry you and father your offspring
If you shit your pants and not say anything about it right before we have sex one more time I'm dumping you.
I didn't expect the hobit to have that much sexual tension.
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