You tried to wear your Jesus costume into Family Christian stores and say it was a book signing.
My cardio has turned into running out of the cold from bar to bar.
as if moving home wasnt embarassing enough, mom picked up my laundry while i was gone. guess who needs to find a new hiding spot for his cum towel..this guy.
I have a page in my 2010 scrapbook dedicated to pictures of his cock.
I'm shutting down my vagina temporarily...it's like the last two weeks were a going out of business sale...and now it needs a break...
I got rejected. By another girl. At a red light. In front of seven shirtless cyclists in the middle of the night. How is that normal?!?
I don't care if he was in that porno. He looked like he knew what he was doing.
She got the hiccups while deep throating me. It was epic. Once in a lifetime experience.
I accidentally kneed him in the balls while trying to straddle him so we ended up spending the night watching ffm porn online
Dude if I call tonight please answer and just say "NO, dont do it."
BAT SHIT CRAZY
It's you're fault, even though I never called
By the power invested in me i promise you hot wedding sex at my wedding.
We had an in depth conversion about the best way to take a dick pic. Both with and without mirrors.
I need a genital shamwow being this wet.
Well, if worst comes to worst, I have pictures of his penis that I can put on the internet
I just sat on the floor of my shower for 20 minutes to punish myself for drunk me's decisions.
Randomize