Well I don't think you could recreate that hangover if you tried. It was like the perfect storm of hangovers.
I'm so cold I just used my boobs to keep my face warm
Her little brother walked in right as I was finishing and was like "uhhh hey there's a lunar eclipse outside"
who put toothpaste on EVERY doorknob in my house?!
DIN'T JUSGE NE.
When I ask you to make sure no ones coming while I'm changing.. The logical friend would keep watch. But you my, best friend come stand in front of me and flash everybody.
The only thing keeping me calm right now is pretending to chop off everyone's heads when using the paper cutter
I don't need you anyway! I have puppies and booze!
That's a lot of judgement coming from a man wearing a dress made from a bedsheet.
Everyone is like kids first day of school and I'm over here like I need to stop sleeping with random
There's a kid in the back of the class drinking out of a flask. Like what is going on?
NOW HE'S DRINKING OUT OF A HANDLE. WHO IS THIS KID?
I spent two entire hours explaining to a guy why I wouldn't make out with him. How was your night?
How was your night?
I spent a lot of money and drank a lot of booze. Also was part of a successful search party
lol show me an arrest record and I'll drop my panties
I got a gay guy to motorboat me. These tits could change the world, I'm telling you.
Randomize
