Is it bad to mix sunny d with vodka if i dont have any real OJ?
I've mixd ketchup with vodka before and called it a bloody mary, so, no.
Just chased the kids into the backyard with kitchen knives. Best. Babysitters. Ever.
the cops didnt even say happy birthday to me :(
"auto-tuned camel" is how i'd describe the noises she made
im goin to the NYE party with a tuxedo painted on my body. i know a girl who does it. wanna join?
omg. don't know how to spell his name, but hot new zealand guy's dick is magic
According to last night if you on the sidewalk at 12 a|m\nYour a WHORE !
This has been your unwelcomed wake-up call, brought to you by exes united. Have a good day, to opt out please type "STOP", to continue but act as though they do not exist please enter "DON'T CARE" for random daily wake up texts by exes united please press "PSYCHO!"
He needs to respect me before he can fuck me with cat ears on.
I'm at this kids house trying to figure out if I pissed in his kitchen new years eve. Lmao, stop letting me drink.
There is a bottle of ciroc waiting graciously on my breakfast table. It's almost a sign for me to live up to my Russian blood.
She kept saying how cute and adorable I was. I felt like a care bear getting a blowjob
But it's ok cause then I turned my tequila blanket into a tequila comforter and I felt no pain
Give me a minute. I'm trying to buy moonshine from a railroad worker named "Cowboy."
You fucked him, didn’t you?
He showed up at my house with tacos, rum and a negative Covid test. Of course I fucked him. I’m just a simple girl that likes tacos, not Margaret Thatcher!
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