Did you dl zombie porn on my computer?
and technically it was a rebound
so lol
and then you got rebounded for the same girl he rebounded you for and still never scored ... it was like watching an LA Clippers game
I walk in and my mom takes one look at me and just says, ".... Consequences"
reason #14 for loving my boobs...just got out of a 40mph over the limit speeding ticket thru a work zone. i dont think the cop knew i even had a face
Making and watching you take a mixed shot with vodka, chocolate syrup, tobasco sauce, cranberry juice, and sundried tomato juice wasnt the highlite of my night. Hearing you puking from downstairs was.
Like some sort of pot growing robin hood.
You guys don't happened to be dressed as gladiators, do you?
After my date left I rallied and took the Asian girl home. Flexibility my friend.
I just blew my weed a kiss
I never thought people would keep their guns next to their fake plastic penises, but there they were.
What happened to no more shots?
It went out the window just like my dreams
The CEO is puking on the sidewalk and the HR director just offered me coke. Engineers have the best parties
Sooo i'm debating posing nude for the drawing and painting classes, I just wanna see if they draw my nip ring.
Your shit was massive.
I'm not 100% sure how to respond to that.
If you were in a "who has the massivest shit contest", you'd win by a landslide.
The salt made it so good this margarita is touching my soul. I swear I'm not high BUT I want elote in a cup with the insides of a shrimp taco. I think that would make my life complete.
Randomize
