Fair warning.. porn on your laptop when you turn it on.. seemed like a wonderful idea last night.. until it died
In a bar in glasgow talking to a 12 year old about life. Welcome to Kentucky.
OMG. if college stays like this, theres no way i wont be pregnant by first semester
last night we were having sex and i didn't care if i got off. i was just holding up my hand behind his head so i could look at my new ring. i think he knew.
I'm sorry I ignored your high cries for help while you were grating cheese on my dog.
come onnn, where's your sense of adventure?!
I left it in that guy's dorm room.
uh, 3 redbulls and 400mg of caffeine pills and i still feel like life is in slowmotion..lets not take tranquilizers again.
She said we could only have sex if she got to keep her fake moustache on during
I almost itched my nose with the lit end of a cigarette. Help.
think of it as grooming, as if he is my Kate Middleton and I'm grooming him to be a presentable princess
I work nights. I sleep in. I take online classes. And fuck bad bitches. I'd say those are some perks to grad school.
Jill you already won the game by finding a dude who will fuck you in flamingo knee socks. Theres no hope for the rest of us
Which is worse that I came in public or that no one noticed?
What even was the context for that. All I have written down is "I would vote for President SnakeJaw."
His mom showed up at my doorstep, begging me to take him back for him
Where do you find these people?
Randomize
