glad you had fun, i did too. am rubbing aloe on my butt now.
home. puking in laundry basket.
my mouth smells like i just ate out a crab.
it's one of those mornings where you are proud of yourself just for waking up.
dude she has hot friends.. do you want blonde brunette or red head.. maybe asian?
what is this build-a-bear? .. just gimme one thats breathing
this islike a room full of reasons why i should be in prison
When I was with you my penis felt like a fat woman crammed into a pair of lulu lemons
Just proved I could salsa dance in a bar where no one was dancing
Sidenote...no idea how to salsa
You're only allowed to hookup with one freshman a semester. MAKE IT COUNT.
If I had pants on, you wouldn't be getting this text message
and then i signed some dudes back with a turkey hand print in honor of thanksgiving
Tbh the only thing I was fully concerned about from the dream was what type of fucked up parallel universe doesn't have Coca-Cola
It is NEVER not funny to me when I am sitting at a table and I've touched the dicks of every single person I'm sitting with.
On another note, I think my upstair neighbor is having sex. How awkward would it be if I showed up to her door with a bag of Chipotle?
And now Google thinks I have a hard hat fetish...maybe I do...
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