Leave Me Alone
At least least me cry on your voice mail
I know I'm not learning anything when I can't even spell the name of the class I'm taking
I went outside for a smoke at 4 and things seemed normal. It's 6 now and the front lawn is COVERED in tortilla chips. WTF?
Well I say she's a whore. All four of her kids have different last names.
BUT, one is Johnson and the other is Johnston. She gets some credit for that
just leaving uw hospital. they thought i had franzia-induced appendicitis. whaaaaat
Realistically anyone can come I don't care it's Boston what do I own boston? No. I just don't want people who are gonna give me "why are you doing that" kinda look when I take birthday shots out of my birthday babe shot glass necklace.
The only thing he had going for him was mad fingering skills. the ONLY thing. crayons have a wider circumference.
the guy sitting next to me at the bar has a patrick swayze tattoo hovering over a roast beef sandwich. 'merica.
I put my hydrocodone prescription in my cereal box its like real lucky charms
I swear to god little potato creatures live inside Belvedere bottles and claw at your throat as you swallow shots.
Dude I sat in the corner of the party bobbing my head and singing danger zone
I just had sex with the megalodon show on in the background and it was just as magical as it sounds
You don't understand. On her lunch break she sits on the roof, stares into the sky, and chain smokes. I can't get on her level. She is made up of java monsters with whiskey and a voice that sounds like sex.
You need to stop crushing on your boss or fuck her.
Like 50% of me thinks it'll be weird, 25% of me is curious & 25% of me is horny
You cuddled up under the blanket because you said it smelled like Santa and vodka.
Randomize
