Yes give me all the cream and he's gone
Don't come here someone got drunk and rolled the keg to buger king. no more beeer
you got kicked out last night because right after you said "whats up?" to us, you downed your whole vodka ton and threw it across the bar.
Canada is now making docos about life in America. Its called Trailer Park Boys.
Just seeing my phone say "picture message from: Senor Floppy Cock", i knew it was going to make me smile.
The polaroid of me taking a test-tube of Jegar out of the gay guys mouth pretty much explains my trip to Spain.
I took his sheets with my when I left seeing that I underestimated my period. Also grabbed a 6-pack out of the fridge because breakfast is the most important meal of the day & I don't do other peoples laundry for free.
I guess birthday shots aren't always the answer
bring the dog... nobody goes to jail with a dog.
Thought it only fitting this Jubilee weekend to snort lines with a 50 note
Your patriotism amazes me, the Queen would be proud!
Am I allowed to compare getting cum'd on the face to a warm summer rain?
You finished the fifth and then hid two dozen eggs around your apartment and declare that you would "quest for Jesus". Have fun questing today.
Apparently, the Mormons have taken over airports. I was told by a befuddled looking clerk I couldn't buy a beer with breakfast before 6am.
I figured if he was OK cheating on his gf with a guy, he'd be OK with me posting his number to m4m Craigslist Ads
i had sex with a girl named after a fruit last night and it was the best thing to happen to me in 2020
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