Whore.
I was being facetious
Don't try to hide behind big words.
I'm totally gay for Miss Californiaaaaaa
oh sweet, sweet irony
i woke up to see him pissing on your n64. thats like killing a unicorn. punishable by death for sure.
Pretty much knew it was gonna be awful when the extra condoms she had from her ex were entirely too big for my dick
Guy next to me at the plasma center is high and watching porn on his itouch. I am wayy to hung over for this level of poor.
Just to save you guys the surprise, somebody shit outside of our door.
Mom just Facebook checked into an Applebees at 2am. Caption: ''WITH THE BESTIEZ.''
She gave me head because I gave her my pack of cigarettes...And you said quitting would be hard.
You never know, some chick could have a weird unibrow fetish.
Would nail polish remover take gorilla glue off my nipples? We had a strange night.
After you threw up you would repeatedly say "napkin" like a siren until somebody got you a fucking napkin.
Somehow I became in charge of getting my mother laid? This can't be my life? Lol
The difference between 22 and 28 is bigger than I realised. I had the urge to put on Spongebob and give him a cookie.
He doesn't have an existential crisis after we have really violent sex now which is nice
It was an interesting experience to have sex while there was a triathlon going on right outside my bedroom window because it sounded like everyone is cheering for you in bed.
How supportive!
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