the police officer looked at my vomit and told me "milk was a bad choice"
he was fingering me, then looked down and said "i like your socks"
I made an oral joke and he laughed... That's when I realized I wasn't Daddy's Little Girl anymore.
True. I'd rather snort cocaine off a homeless guy then work on the weekend...Actually that may not be that bad.
sounds like it. if it makes you feel better i blew up a $75000 farm tractor last night.
Casually brushing the Bacardi out of my hair. It's a good time to ponder regretting everything that happened last night.
I puked so hard this morning that I peed my pants. I'm a gem.
He told me to be a woman and make him dinner. So I threw a bagel at him and went out to dinner.
Your skill with memes is vaguely frightening
We fucked. Had a political debate. I won. So I sat on his face.
There's glitter all over his bed from my Pink VS panties... I think I might invest in similar styles as a way of marking my territory just incase.
I'm a mess. I mean I almost got off but I'm a fucking rubics cube down there so il givenhim the point
I just woke up and I don't really remember anything past 1pm. How much am I missing?
A good 10-11 hours. You got laid twice. Also, you out-ran a cop and played football with a lamp.
The wedding is over. Operation sleep with my step-sister has officially begun
Arrived home from picking Mom and Nana up at the airport to find Marc buck ass nude beneath the Christmas tree. Nana says she always knew I was queer.
Randomize