That poor girl was naked and had to be at a job interview in an hour
It was like a drunk episode of Dora the Explorer. In English.
There's a difference between southern and inbred. She just doesn't know that yet.
if they reproduce, their children will be the worst quarters players ever
you are getting stockholm syndrome from your pubes
The pet store wouldn't sell us fish because they said they could tell we were drunk.
there are ass prints on the hood of my car.
Know what's awesome? Flying a mini helicopter while you shit.
don't trust your eyes. just sniff them. if they smell like axe, they are broke, move on to the next.
You are the voice of reason. And I'm bringing wine. Like seriously this is his last chance. Don't touch me once, shame on you.. Don't touch me twice, shame on me
Thanks for launching me off you reverse cowgirl. I think I chipped a tooth.
We smoked a huge blunt and then laid in bed naked eating strawberry shortcake good humor bars. We have the perfect relationship.
Who the fuck gets injured on a merry-go-round? HOW IS IT POSSIBLE??
She rode me wearing nothing but a Santa hat. Merriest fucking Christmas!
bonus check + party bus = big hot mess
Randomize