yeah well you didnt even puke from the alcohol. we cut you off and went to huck finn's and told you that the "irish cream" coffee creamers had baileys in it, so you shot down like eight of them and puked all over the floor. it was great. we cheered you on and everything
maybe i'll see you again later :)
I'd rather shit a knife.
there are two kinds of girls in this world: my mom, and sluts.
Remeber when I drunkenly made out with him this summer while he was getting bitched at by his girlfriend on the phone? Yeah, neither do I. But I'm pretty sure that same thing happened again last night.
his life revolves around getting high and answering people on yahoo answers. he's perfect for you.
At first i thought she was a sexily dressed toddler. but not in a pedophile way, in a really on drugs way
Throwing up in the car while my mom drives, sister holds the bag & my dad holds my hair. This is how my family bonds.
New one-upper goal: I have to shit off the side of a moving train then jump off
I am very happy to share that the hospital says the testicle pain is normal and that they are going to take care of it.
you just rode your bike home from a one night stand in a stolen skirt with no underwear and you're telling ME to reevaluate life choices?!
Twist bend and done? Jesus that sounds like a seventh grade hand job.
He just said Bill Nye is just a dude. If I ever considered sleeping with him, I never will now.
Everything is bullshit and I hate everyone
at one point, you reached into your purse, pulled out a tampon, and proceeded to rub it on your lips like chapstick... that drunk
The whole country is going to hell in a handbasket but I got a grade A fucking and don't particularly care.
Randomize
