Situation: He got it in my eye, how long do I let it sting before should start to worry?
I think I'm going to die by hangover. I'm in my spanish class. So I guess I'm going to be muerte.
He may or may not be blacked out. We put him to sleep in the community bathroom. He's wrapped in your blanket and he's already puked on it twice. Using your blanket was my idea. Maybe next time you'll ask before taking my vodka.
He literally had a note from his doctor saying he wasn't allowed to finger me for a week
Announcement: Given the sad circumstances regarding the death of my dearest friend Chong the Bong, there will be a brief memorial service for him tomorrow evening at 10:30 at my place. After sharing some memories and sending his spirit off to the great bowl in the sky, we will all take place in the commemoration and maiden voyage of his son, Chong Squared, who eagerly waits to meet all of you. High blessings to you all, piece be with you.
Remember when I said "no boyfriend, no problems"? I lied. Tequila. Tequila is a problem.
Smoked a blunt with a girl i met at the bus stop today. What you did today is irrelevant
I'm definitely going to class still drunk right now and the freshman dressed as Hugh Heffner last night is texting me. I can't handle this.
So the next three days will be henceforth known as the 'celebration of the end of the most irresponsible years of my life' be prepared to wake up naked in a ditch.
Let me get this straight, you're telling me to lower my standards? Even though last week you told me I don't have any..?
We learned many a lesson today about drug use in canoes
I also point out to everyone that she looks like DJ's gf on Roseanne.
Guess who's the proud owner of her very own foxtail butt plug!!
He's tiny, but ripped. Like a stacked hobbit. He's going to pull our sexy, crime-fighting rickshaw.
Remember the time you puked your contact lens out?
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