I drank it, and now my boss keeps hitting me in the face with beams of light.
Tripping at your desk probably isn't the best plan you've had.
I'm on the strip, it's like a mini new years eve. Some girl just got taken away on a stretcher with her meter margarita in her hand claiming it's trophy for being awesome. Damn tourists are lightweights.
i leave for school in 3 days. if you want your annual goodbye blow job you should probably call me
It finally happened. My conscience stopped working. I've never felt so free
EMERGENCY: IS A KAREOKE RICKROLL ACCEPTABLE IN THE YEAR 2011?
drunk enough to drink jager bombs out of a bowl on the kitchen floor.
you started looking at my couch laughing and saying to it "she thinks I'm talking to you" then proceeded to laugh and talk to the couch some more.
I'd recommend you leave that level of crazy to the experts. I'd start with an under appreciated soccer mom if I were you.
And really all I wanted was to be like "hey can I borrow your dick for a few hours this weekend?"
I piss off the neighbors just so I can have someone to compete with.
Also, I found out that my dad has the name of every boy that I've ever dated and their physical description, car type and tag number stored in his computer.
Apparently Angela went missing once and he says he learned were to look first and that it's best to have information on hand.
It's something I can't competently describe without making sex sounds.
He was leaving the restaurant I was going to as I was parking. I didn't want to scream, "hey, didn't I jerk you off?" Out of my window at 10 am
she was concerned about my dick piercings.
You came into the club around midnight with a carton of tropicana o.j. & said you were starting a revolution.
Randomize
