garbage
garbage dick
rubbish cock
you win
You want to go to a white party at LAX
Clubs are lame especially themed ones. Im not in a fucking episode of laguna beach
I seem to have left my pride at pride
At what point did I decide it would be a good idea to fill my contact case with vodka
he was in the bathroom singing "will it floooaaat?? will it floooaaat?!" turns out that's a deal breaker for me.
You poured sparks in your panties and NOW you're wondering why you have a UTI?
He won't talk to me. He'll only communicate using scissors
just added God to my list of friends who can only see my limited profile on facebook. its such a relief to know that He can't watch me fuck up my life anymore.
Just so we're on the same page, we cannot have been the first people to have ever thought about shooting that guy with crossbow
I just watched nsync videos for the past half hour and you could totally tell lance bass was gay in all of them
This might sound awkward, but can I borrow a dildo for class?
I need to think of the best way to tell this boy he's not getting his pants back
my roommate was being a bitch so I changed my Netflix password on her. 21st century slap in the face ladies and gentleman
And I got shut down by a ginger. It was a weird night
My penis is lonely
So is my ring finger
Randomize
