Dork........ .......... .. . ...... ........... .. . ... ...... .. . .... ..... .. .... ... .......... .... . . ..... Yeah its morse code, no big deal
I just walked in on my mom and dad......It wasn't my dad
i was high and broke so i stole a roast chicken and a 40 inch sheet cake from wegmans and ate in a bathroom stall.
so her cute freckles turned out to be blackheads
You ended at least 6 stories with "and that's why I don't snort coke anymore"
I can't wait until next week, when I find out what drunk me added to the Netflix queue.
get to allyx's house asap
Ok is everything ok
Yeah, theres just lesbians
omg yes on my way
she has a picture of her daughter riding a giant rooster.. of course i want to make obscene cock jokes
The goblet must only be used for good. And vodka. And anything t-pain would be proud of.
Ok that kid was ether gay or 12 with a beard.
Starting the weekend with a pair of pants on which the zipper wont stay up. Is this a sign of things to come??
Just cleaned someone else's sperm off of my bedroom wall. Never throwing a house party again.
We don't have any ice, so I'm using the frozen cognac to reduce the swelling on Abby's toe.
She said you told her you were ready to be a dad. We just got back from our purchase of the morning after pill. That took me 2 hours of convincing. No more fucking my sister.
1. Thanks. 2. No.
"fuck it, let's do moonshine" shouldn't be in ANYONE'S vocabulary.
Randomize
