the next time i see a chick with leggings under her jean skirt...i'm gona beat her ass with a fashion magazine...
i love how cold weather makes identifying sluts easier. is it below freezing? is she wearing a tube top? she's easy.
Definitely almost got hit in the face with a baby
Not sure if jager bombs can cure tuberculosis, but its a theory im testing as we speak
I'm bringing a flask to the test on friday. If I'm gonna fail at least I can enjoy the experience
Hey got that picture this morning. 1. clean your room 2.what happened to your nail? and 3. your penis is amazing,.
I'd rather make snow angels in a pool of elephant shit.than sleep with him.
This football player keeps talking about his drunk dad. I think he may start crying. Does this deserve a roll tide?
I'm at work. It's margarita night. Someone literally just shouted "MURICUH!"
God bless us, everyone.
I think I just got judged by the pizza guy. dude, you deliver fucking pizza. you need rethink YOUR life.
Guy just came in wearing only shorts, on his hand was written - my name is ... Call ... And tell them where i am, thanx - in permanent marker, ordered his favorite dish, and left w/out touching it. It's snowing outside.
I just found out that my husband and I are Eskimo siblings. What in the actual fuck?!
Pro: Drunk Portland Strip Club. Con: Monday morning hangover at work. Pro: boobs. Con: Sleep deprivation. The Pro's are winning.
I would agree. Add some coffee to the booze. It will cut down on sleep deprivation.
You were petting a 40 year old man's moustache for 15 minutes
We've been fucking like crazy ever since she quit her job..ive been running errands all day to stay out of the house and give my dick a day of rest
I hate my life now
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