another moral hangover. fuck.
And then she said we stopped for a train and i tried crawling out the back window.. again, i dont remember this.
you googled "nude photos of celebrities you wouldn't expect to have nude photos", puked into the beer bong, and then laughed
The only dream I remember having is one where my dad's sperm turned into baby hippos. Like, tiny baby hippos, pocket-sized. I am so fucked up.
It was an igloo shaped doghouse, I was obligated to hotbox it
I know it is almost summer when the students in my night class start showing up drunk.
We started playin just the tip, then shit got crazy
She wont be able to take it all. I'll use a shoe horn to get it in if I have to.
I decided not to eat, and then this man was my fairy " don't black out" godmother
I walked into the bathroom of the hotel and she's in the bath tub with a guy she met a day ago. They were sharing a shrimp cocktail platter and shot gunning bud lights. Oh and it was noon.
So maybe putting the blacklight above the futon wasn't the best idea...
idk man, I was fucked up and eating fried rice at the grocery store, tried to wave at her but she just looked concerned at me.
I don't want to resort to having sex with people that actually like me.
Dude, I'm telling you, date younger. He brought pizza, made me squirt twice, and then left to immediately go to brunch with his mom.
We played wedding bingo. I made out with the maid of honor and fucked one of the bride’s sorority sisters. But I needed to get with the groom’s cousin, a mother-in-law to be, or the wedding planner to win and I came up short.
Randomize
