i wonder if i could find a boyfriend who would call me big papa
sure if you go to prison
If penises could fly, my ass would totally be an airport.
that girl is introducing herself into your group of friends one dick at a time.
The last thing i remember was high fiving everyone on the planet.
I've see this movie. You sext me after the bar and fall asleep mid sentence. Roll credits.
you inspire me to be a worse person
sick fucks of a feather flock together
You both sound like you need to get shit faced, fight it out, and have makeup sex.
i think i just encouraged him to glue googly eyes to my boobs
I'll be wearing lingerie and holding a bottle of bourbon so pick up whatever food you think goes with that
We're at an agreement where I don't pry and she pretends blissful ignorance
He spilled some of his beer on your shoulder then proceeded to lick it off. By the face you made, I don't know if you were completely horrified or really turned on.
Isn't it funny how we're still best friends after that incident with the old lady in the bathroom
You fucking bailed on me. But I love you still
I'm always down for nudity.
I kicked down a wall in rage and found a door behind the drywall. Once again vandalism solves all my problems.
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