he just flicked a booger into my mouth and shouted "goaaaal!"
Best friends brother. Beat that.
Dude, I swear her tits are going to give me a concusion.
Just made nachos out of string cheese and sunchips and laying in my bed watching babay einstion..get on my level
This does no justice to the amount of paint I'm covered in or the amount of balls I'm tripping.
Just so you know, this text is a buffer between the two guys I'm sexting. Can't get that shit messed up.
There's two sisters at this place and they look competitive. Try for a threesome tonight?
I need to quit being a slut. It's to the point that I got my period today and automatically I Believe I Can Fly popped into my head.
no, you don't understand how much people deal here. All I had to say was "hey lets buy a bag" and he pulled over instantly, then the randoms in the car behind us pulled over and sold us a bag.
Its like drunk me is Oprah except instead of a car everyone's award is seeing my boobs
Every time you talk about your facial hair I immedately get horny
At one point she put on my dads pants and yelled after him EMILIOOOO! Dude, my dads name is Mark.
Should I wish him a happy birthday?
Well he has been inside of you enough times that you probably should.
I did a line off of, and then danced on top of a table older than this country.
Harvard is great.
Taking a walk while tripping face during Halloween time was a bad idea. I started crying bc I was so scared and hide in the parks playground.
Randomize
