I'm 99% sure that for 3 hours I thought you were British. We must smoke that again.
closing bar tabs have helped me with simple math in college.
The future queen of Norway was pregnant with a druglord's baby when she met the prince. We still have hope.
you cant keep talent like that locked up in a relationship
This bowl of cereal would be the size of a giant's bowl-piece. It's. that. big.
How much did you smoke??
Your CAR. Is in a LAKE. I'd say "a big mess" is a pretty conservative description of the situation.
Someone came into our hotel room and took our remote
What should I do?
I tried to celebrate Halloween, Thanksgiving, Hannukah, and New Years all in one night.
quick, give me some iron man trivia, i'm going to make this girl regret quoting tony stark in her tinder bio
I've come to realize that I need a break from life when I just tried to use my address numbers as the cook time on the microwave
Sooooooo, maybe just fucked on a motorcycle.
While walking to class I was handed a red bull, condoms, and a mini bible. I love my school.
Think I was still drunk when I woke up cause I went and bought a mandolin
I ordered from the drive thru as i was peeing on the menu
Lesbians just stole my cat :(
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