Just took a beer bong out of snuffaluffagus's trunk. Your move
just brushed my teeth with a bottle of jack. ew. not all it's hyped up to be.
She compared sex to doing dishes."You scrub them until they're wet."
Are you absolutely against sleeping in your car? Because i've done that before.
If I am going to pay someone to make me puke, it's going to be the bartender.
Yours weakened by children. Mine weakened by a forearm sized cock for 8 years.
PS- I just ordered a two man zebra costume. Would you like to be my back end?
Anderson Cooper just came out.
Crying tears of glitter and rainbows right now. Gonna decorate my dildo like My Little Pony in his honor.
Can't tonight. I'm supposed to get drugs for some college kids. Just doin my part in helping to enlight america's future
next time we make out at a concert please try to refrain from screaming out our hotel room number.. the amount of guys that knocked on our door after you passed out was ridiculous
Its not that it wasnt fun. Its just I got a tooth knocked out and that was my second time being arrested this year
I tried to order dominos and couldn't but I accidentally placed an order for this morning. I knew I did it last night and was gonna call and cancel this morning but honestly it's coming in 30 minutes and I need it
I really wanna treat my body good. Because i plan on doing drugs
college girl with braces trying to flirt with you...time to go
New rock bottom. Woke up at 7 am fully clothed in a bathtub full of water. I hate myself.
Randomize
