yeah, we don't understand. the wings losing for guys is like girls finding objects in their body..just weird and sad
New boss looks like john cusack in a collar. Hot. Why do i always want to have sex with priests?
update: the house isnt on fire anymore, but he is still pissing on all your stuff.
the house was on fire??
shit I thought I told you.
You were screaming at a bartender last night for not referring to you as god.
and apparently I tried to pay for beer with a tampon.
I swear my cock just shook it's head disapprovingly at me.
Obama just said the words "we're all in this together." I wanted to start singing high school musical
my girls lil sis wanted to play hide & seek. she told her 2 go hide. we went to the room and had sex. she was hiding under the bed.
currently pooping in a public restroom while drinking free beer. there has never been a finer line between awesome and depressing.
shit went down at the bar when this girl with 'morals' totally cock blocked a married guy. she actually kicked IN the bathroom door when they were fucking in there. then we all did shots.
he made a bon jovi sex playlist and started crying when "i'll be there" came on... how was your night?
Man, I meant to go dancing, but accidentally took mushrooms and just threw the frisbee in the park
Surprise ending
Please tell me how the stripper got back to Sarah's from the trailer park
I made out with a mom and her daughter and got a black eye, so yeah, my birthday went well
I can't decide which is better: the sex, or remembering that I have ice cream in the freezer after he left
Walk of shame through Chipotle? Check.
Randomize
