guy in front of me on the bus did 12 yrs, hes teling me about how to knife fight
She threw up everywhere and is crying about a fictional character who died on Grey's Anatomy
and then he said he has been waiting since high school to touch my boobs
Thats two for two birthdays where I've gotten the "alcoholism runs in the family" speech
The theme is smores and alcohol. Dress appropriately.
They called me at 5 AM saying they had a present for me
hey give me heads up if you're feeling vulnerable tomorrow night
He said you stopped mid-fuck, called fives on his dick, walked out to grab another drink, and came back.
Thanks for letting me use your ID, there's $120 along with your ID in the mail to cover the Urinating in public fine I got last night....sorry
So she just had an emotional breakdown over a birthday card with a peacock on it. Yeah. She's pretty drunk, but we made it home safely.
I give up. I can't handle that class sober any longer. I have an army of whiskey shooters for the next three weeks. Wish me luck.
I'm not trying to analyze you I'm just saying you are being unfair to soup
Based on the conversation I'm going to assume you didn't close the deal.
It started going awry when I fell through a roof.
So I took my bra off and threw it in the bushes before we went to the bars..
You took your shirt off at the bar, handed it to a girl, and made her wash your dirty shirt on your washboard abs
tuesdays get the best of me...
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