If your 8 lb baby was ham it would serve 6-8 people
Your like the Mozart of blow jobs, you make every other girl seem like cheesy elevator music.
Maybe not, but you have to admit watching him get hit by the car was gratifying
Almost just bought a peacock. I need to get off Craigslist
if i cared i wouldnt have woken you up by pouring a bottle of soy sauce on you.
is that what this stuff is?
She bent over while grinding on me on the dance floor and her thong straps were hanging out, I thought it was a good idea to grab the straps with both hands and pretend to be riding in Santa's sleigh...not my brightest moment.
What the hell do I have to give up to manifest a dick
Today I found out that my boss keeps a breathalyzer on his desk for just these sort of shenanigans
It's a good thing he's hot, because it seemed like he was trying to do CPR on my private parts
He and I tag each other in memes all day. You could say it's getting pretty serious.
god i just can't wait for finals to end so i can just masturbate all day and night
Okay so as of now, we may either be coming for one night, two nights, or not at all this weekend. It depends on Laura's toe and if I get my period. Will explain later
When I planned out my evening, "co-author lesbian vampire erotica" was not anywhere on my list of expected activities.
Me neither, but hey, this is where we've ended up. Let's embrace the moment.
It's official, I'm not staying in tonight
What caused that decision?
You only live once
Too high to wash a dish but just high enough for a kitchen fire
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