You know you have a problem when the only thing that saves you is that you drank so late into the night that you sleep through the designated walk of shame time window
This Casey James character from American Idol is really gonna mess up my sex life.
Or maybe the fact that you know who Casey James is will be what messes up your sex life.
watching my parents drink 4 loko out of usf cups playing pool and rocking out to ACDC...
Can I come live with you?
Yeah it was hard to find an opportunity while fucking him to say "oh the reason my lips taste so salty is because i blew your roomate 15 minutes ago"
I couldn't open my car door and for a second I thought they were taking me to an intervention circle.
We are possibly on our way, unless we see the limo full of strippers.
In a weird way, I don't want to stalk him on Facebook. I want to find out what's wrong with him the old-fashioned way. Is this what it means to be romantic?
So I went to daintily fall onto my bed like I was in a hotel commercial and I completely missed my matress and landed on my floor. Just thought u should know.
After a few mimosas, my mom started sharing her plans to move out of the house and into a retirement village so she can be the youngest one there and find herself a "nice old sugar daddy." Needless to say, break has not started off well...
I just want to fall into a pit of xannies and eat my way out.
When he pulled it out last night I asked if that was as hard as it was going to get. I think I may have offended him.
I just talked this guy out of hooking up with me and gave him relationship advice. Am I a good person now?
Uhmmmm is there really any way to tactfully ask "you into me jerking you off with my feet... or nah" cause if you find one let me know 😂
I'm extremely upset that I wasted my "having sex with a guy at work" card on him
But once you are just right and I work my tongue in the right spots and hot wax your balls and inner thighs. I will have you right where I want you.
Who is this?
Oops wrong number
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