I see an opportunity for you to use your nakedness to cure my boredom.
you were carrying around a glass of vodka telling everyone it was Russian water
Chinatown. Her fortune cookie said "accept the next proposition you receive." TELL ME NO NOW.
Last thing I remember is Dusty riding the bikes we "borrowed" from the hotel through the CVS while the rest of us picked up the girls who were laughing at him
I remember nothing of last night, but I did manage to figure out which frats I went to by the trails of straw across campus.
I think its pretty common. 1 out of every 4 people probably have a stripper's phone # in their phone.
STOP LICKING HIS MUSTACHE
A guy wearing a shirt that says "eat shit and die motherfucker" just held open a door for me. He's got manners.
if girls can go out in miniskirts and reveal their thongs, I should be able to wear a sheer dress with boyshorts with the word love bedazzled on my ass.
This is why you're my favorite.
This is what happens when wu tang raised you
Se wrote an essay in class about proper and fashionable winter wear for dogs. Of course I regret fucking her.
we watched a porno and made a drinking game out of it. best first date ever.
Like I owe him sex. Hell fucking no. I owe myself sex. With a celebrity. Or a clean pornstar. Who knows.
I'm taking the day off so I can get drunk at Whole Foods before noon
I am at a cat party and I just witnessed people lapping vodka out of a bowl for a contest. Lol
Randomize
