Full bush! Can't stay! Need ride! Come on bro!
He's been dead since March and more people write on his wall than mine.
You NEED to fuck him he's a doctor with one leg. Are you kidding me right now. This will definitely make the list. Plus he buys all of us drinks.
at some point i feel off my bar stool straight into the arms of a gay guy. just my luck.
I'm pretty sure I had my drunk fortune told by a gay Miss Cleo last night. At least it's advice sober me can agree with.
He's tweaking out . If he's on fucking bathsalts and eats my face like a chalupa pull the plug. I don't want to live with no fucking face. Pull. The. Plug.
Needless to say, she forgave him, they're back together, and I'm seriously considering having a lesbian year.
I just got home and someone ate all my chicken nuggets. Bitches be asking for a death sentence?
Whoever was doing lines off my iPad is a dick. Also bring Gatorade, for I hunger
For Who flesh?
don't judge but I think I'm gonna go fuck a dad this weekend
Actually we have similar relationship styles aka no relationship... it could work
Update: tequila girl had her hand down groomsmen pants
Somehow, you looked so classy chugging that bottle of wine last night.
good news, i've got tacos. bad news, kevin's in the ER. more good news, the tacos were free.
Turns out I made out with a woman dressed as a unicorn here 10 years ago
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