I'm on that like soy sauce on rice
and now I know what throwing up pineapple chunks is like.
Yeah, we had those soaking in vodka for like 36 hours
outstanding.
If I had a clone, I'd fuck it with a condom
there's no food at this bar, but i'm pretty sure vodka is made of wheat so i'm basically drinking bread.
Last night, I accomplished the impossible. I pissed while riding my bicycle home without pissing all over myself. My Dutch friends gave me a round of applause and said I was now the king of holland.
How do I tell a friend I drunkenly broke into his house and may have lost his dog
Haha, oh man. I'm awake now. Slept in my headdress.
I do have a life. It just consists of making scarves and chesse straws now
I just sat in the bathtub with the shower running so I could eat the whole box of mega stuffed Oreos. What am I doing with my life
Although I'm glad you didn't let my climb in the sink, I really wish you would have let me pretend to be a duck in the shower for a little longer
Oh, cold wet seat on the 48! Are you piss? Are you the sweaty ass leavings of an obese person? Are you the spilled King Cobra from the night before? I do not know! I dare not smell to find out... Pants ruined...
I do remember that in my dream I wasn't impressed with his dick.
He just said Bill Nye is just a dude. If I ever considered sleeping with him, I never will now.
Not sure who they are or where we're going but they just bought me 3 tacos so I'm staying.
my Mom is now my Eskimo sister... she fucked my ex in my bed and took a selfie
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