I told my rommate that he was pissing on his bed. He said "ok man" and took a step backwards and continued. He then went back to bed.
Spotted at kelly concert- 10 year old in a homemade "I do not hook up" t shirt. Well I should certainly hope not, sweetheart.
I saw you sitting on top of my car trying to row back home... Did you make it?
My clit is not a Gobstopper. Cut it out.
Her eyebrows were plucked so thin that she had to have gonorrhea. Clean girls just don't pluck that way
Whoever put the picture of my dad in the condom box is an asshole
So what's the moral standing on reading gay porn on your phone whilst sitting next to your 87 year old Grandma?
he literally referred to his penis as the alaskan bull worm from spongebob. when can we get married
i may or may not be making depth charges with cough syrup. i'll call you if i survive.
I WOLD FCUK YUO INTOO THE MOON
THE MOOOOOOOON
Just had to double check that I had pants on. THAT kind of weekend.
God, please protect all woman from micro-penises
What's the tour de bar? Is that a thing, or is it just what you call Saturdays?
Do I masturbate or eat a pound of matazah. Alissa help what do I do??
You cannot ask her to resend the picture of her genital tattoo to you just so you can show your room mate. it is time to end your relationship with the Captain.
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