She was so bad on top that i found myself watching a TV that wasn't even turned on
My parents foreign exchange student just walked in on me whacking off. Welcome to America :)
Just got off the phone with poison control. They're more concerned about our alcohol intake than that the beer bong was last cleaned with pine sol.
you broke a plate. told her her wedding china was ugly and you were doing her a favor. then proceeded to break every plate you could get your hands on.
I know for sure he's a bro because he closed the door so my gf didn't see me hooking up with her cousin.
sooo what's the appropriate music to listen to after you find out the dude you been fucking, is legit married with kids...what genre is that?
I woke up and he was just feeling up my stomach. I felt like buddha and he was rubbing my belly for good luck. never again.
my hand froze to the top of can of beer cuz i fell asleep outside. i decided to find a way to open the bottom of the can before addressing my severe frostbite. PRIORITIES!
Sex on acid. Try it. I thought we were fucking in outer space with fireworks inside a rocketship car. Best.
Move ovrr Titanoc and all you others. Heres the real tale of woe. This ladys failed search for boozdy goodnezs.
I can't decide if I'm depressed or if this is just what life without a bidet feels like.
Why does 2015 have to start with so many regrets?
He made me a flamingo drink and now I don't know why things are the way they are.
When I woke up I had 6 missed calls making sure I was ok and asking if I remember showing my tits to a picture of her baby.
He showed his fake to the cop and was like "does the coloring look off to you?"
Randomize
