He just left - my room smells like that cheese they put on nachos and cigarettes and beef
Yo quero taco bell
I just woke up and realized I puked in my boxers WTF.
You stay classy.
The worst part was I forgot until I tried to put them on.
just woke up in the hotel with gummi bears all around me and someone took the tv
we took the tv and as for the gummi bears don't eat them you put em in her vagina
At what point did we agree that playing bocchi ball on the way to the liquor store was a good idea?
just gave another girl i passed on the walk of shame a high five
this weekend destroyed me...my brain feels like the curly fry at the bottom of the bag. GAhhh come save me
that's ecstasy for ya. now I'm kinda in the mood for jack in the box.
Yeah. Rock bottom was him passing out and saying "are you putting a condom on me?" and me covering his mouth and saying shhhhh
I am currently watching him baptize himself in a baby pool with a handle of belvedere while wearing a coral dress.
I want to have sex with him.
I deleted my history right in front of my girlfriend w/out her seeing. Let's go skydiving with no parachutes. I can live thru anything.
I would rather get explosive diarrhea at the aquarium than go home alone tonight
My phone autocorrects "pooping" to "popping" and I'm like DO YOU EVEN KNOW ME??!
Are we on the same shift tomorrow and more importantly do you want your pants back?
the only thing I remember was some guy took out his fake eye to use it for beer pong
I fell into a police barricade, a cop helped me up and asked if I've been drinking. I just looked at him and said "dude.." He proceeded to take out his handcuffs
That time of your life is like a blur to me. There was churches, car fucking, and conservatives
Randomize
