Instead of having sex, we spent the entire night making pillow forts and have sword fights. I think I'm in love
I just told someone i was in "addition and subtraction 160".......and they believed me.
found a naked boy completely buried under a pile of her clothes and terrified...she says she was "saving him for later"
He passed out while I was riding him, and just when I was about to call it quits he opens his eyes and squeezes my boobs and goes Honk! Honk!
The last thing I remember is trying to split my bridesmaid dress down the back like the incredible hulk.
and you succeeded.
My bed became a clown car for his family....I'm not ready to get married
Okay so my USC tutor just offered to eat me out. I think I'm definitely applying to USC.
he went to the bathroom at 5am only to come back and squeeze my boob before going back to sleep
Side note: I just realized that I can make my hand warmers double as a heated push up bra.
I'm sorry I put my balls through your watch. On another note your roommate had them on his shoulder too sry
There needs to be a greeting card for "I miss having sex and smoking weed with you."
My sex life reached a new low tonight: we stopped into this bar so I could pee and when I got out of the bathroom my parents had ordered a round for us and this traveling nurse they met and were trying to run game for me. Saddest part? She was actually going for it.
"can you come pick me up from the ikea parking garage i think i slept here"
i'm trying not to stalk him on facebook
i gave in
help. his tongue is stuck. Its not what you think. Hurry.
Randomize
