break up sex still means we will always be broken up.
Joe is a total sociopath, I'm going to hook up with him tonight
i kno its fucked up..but id rather sleep it off than seek medical attention right now
dude i just saw a topless girl trying to get into her locked car. im moving here
now were playing what girl doesnt belong in the picture of girls in bikinis.
you realize that if you hadn't mouthed "we're getting laid tonight", i wouldn't have woken up with your ex this morning. just sayin
I feel like i got beat with a pillowcase full of tequila shots.
it was a 10 min screaming orgasm. i don't care that you were next door and didn't appreciate all the noise.
You were telling the cab driver that you believe in him and just to follow his dreams
I would take a bullet for Beyonce's baby
And know that if I ever text "road head?" that it comes from a place of caring and not a place of heartlessness..
Ur creepiness is now affecting my life and I'm not okay with it
I duct taped a bottle of vodka to the back of your closet while you were sleeping in case of emergencies. Go rip it off, it's going to be a long night.
PSA Do not blow dry your junk.
Bud light made chelada as a breakfast for those of us with class at 8 am
Randomize
