Let's start a violent farting gang. We can do walkbys.
Pete just told the whole party I'm a squirter
connan obrien reminds me of an asparagus spear
we're at Rob's house and just invented the best drinking game ever....we are on Chatroulette and everytime we see a dick we all have to drink.
I just learned in bio that our sole purpose for life is to have sex.. so your high number is acceptable. its actually lacking.
Please never let me the drunk fat dancer in the bus girl
"Douchebag of the Year" award goes to the guy who didn't reply to the picture of my tits.
Wellp yesterday was spent absurdly hungover and today was spent in planned parenthood so I hope that's not an indication of the year to come
drunk brunch me or lose me forever
DUDE. HOLY FUCK MY PRINCIPAL WAS JUST MY UBER DRIVER. I AM LITERALLY TRAUMATIZED. ANS DRUNK. HOLY FUCK OMG
I'm kinda glad you won't be in Vegas tomorrow because you'd make us go streaking or throw dead animals at them.
You used a fucking bud light like as lube last night. I'd get a UTI test like stat.
Just had to tell a NYC cop I was doing the Dougie in a houndstooth jumper so he could find me in the security video.
Anytime he goes down on me i automatically think of you cheering me on. Your a good friend.
I was looking at your nipple and it made me think of you
Well I hope so...
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