belinda wants 2 know wr u got ur butt pads
i dont wear butt pads that thang is au naturel
Yeah...right...LMAO
Dude, totally just found out that I've been washing my hair with semen for the past 3 weeks.
Well I disagree, 3 different men in my bed over my birthday was the perfect way to say goodbye to my childhood innocence
Ya well here is the deal with last night, it was the Biggest shit show we have ever co-stared in.
God I hope the gutter I die in is nice. You know, for a gutter.
He kicked in the door just as I climbed on top of him...and stood there. I felt like I was in a porn. It was invigorating.
You came home And decided to make beer battered bacon... That's why there was smoke
Why the fuck is there a picture of us jumping a girl that's wearing my chicken mask?
Also I would love to pregame at your place if I weren't stuck at mine drinking laxatives
The guy who was interviewing me asked if I had coke on my pants. You win this time Las Vegas
I just woke up in the closet wearing nothing but a Santa hat.
Last night was great... In the "I got videotaped making out and getting a handjob on the couch in front of 100 people." kinda way.
i'm now remembering the last part of my nigght....ugh. apperently i bargained with the wendys drive up girl after they closed and got "w/e they had left" for $7
I don’t mind that he’s uncircumcised. It’s the fact that he talks about the Bible immediately after we have sex .
Last night you broke a mirror, and then rolled around in the glass shards. Miraculously, there's not a scratch on you...
Randomize
