So I just introduced myself to this guy in front of me and now he's saving my pictures on facebook to his phone..
don't thank me. stop putting your penis in foreign objects.
They were so loud I wrote them a sex critique and taped it to his door.
so my dad walked in on us having sex
lulz really? why?
lets just say he wont be answering to 'daddy' for a loooooong time
We got them high and they had an hour long debate on the best way to get cum out of eyes.
you better fuck at least one or both of them.
He's eating a cream cheese sandwich. He's obviously distressed.
when he was about to finish he told me to avert my eyes and keep my lady parts away. chivalry isnt dead.
Also I legit had a girl at my bar crying tonight saying to her friend "why did he have to take his top off ?"
Getting a vibrator would be like waving the white flag of surrender in this war against my vagina and its hormone army.
It's titled "A countdown to death. A psychological look at the downward spiral of actress Lindsay Lohan and her inevitable Hollywood demise" This dissertation is genius. Not a single sober moment for either Lindsay or myself. Good stuff!
Ok, they now been on the roof for two days. I can see 4 cases of teecate and a carton of smokes. They are yelling at "fucking fall" and pissing off the roof.
I'm trying to get laid this Halloween, not inspire the next season of AHS
How long until you're healed?
Physically? A week or so. Emotionally? The scars of dislocating my knee at a frat and flashing my panties to the whole crowd wi never heal.
Well I finally got to say all the things I wanted to say. Including telling him he looks like a naked mole rat
Little girl was fucking around on the train and completely ran her head into a pole. Totally burst out laughing as she cried. Her mom was not amused. I don't think I should be a Mom. EVER.
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