do u think i could put an abortion on my debit card?
and next time when you feel me up, do it right
just fucked my old babysitter, gotta love block parties
You dont realize corn stalks will cut until you run from the cops through a corn field.
I pretty much threw up on him while he slept, I had one task today which was to wash the sheets that I threw up on and I turned them pink. I would leave me if I could
I have a cut on my head from a tambourine.
I told you, we're just gonna get ripped and light sparklers
Within the span of 10 minutes, I managed to make a slip 'n slide on his stomach, threatened to pee on him, kneed myself in the eye, and almost fell asleep on the toilet....in that order.
At least I'm fat on the outside. You can NEVER change being fat on the inside.
Also, just woke up in a Romney tank and sequin flag panties. Merica.
And then he dove into my vagina like scrooge mcduck into a room of gold
Hey, taking organic chemistry means no one is allowed to tell you you're partying too hard.
He was the highest I've ever seen. Almost had him convinced there are only three colors in the rainbow...
I definitely almost just pulled a condom out of my purse instead of money for my dad.
You were painting for six hours and managed one four foot wall. "The Mellow Handyman" isn't a good business model.
Randomize
