Is it bad that when I see ugly people make out, I hope he's impotent?
I'm home alone watching The Hills seasons, eating pickles and drinking straight rye. I just googled "how to make friends". Probably not the most pro-active solution. Help.
I wouldn't call it sex. It's like when you put a plug in a socket half way. It's not all the way in but it still turns on the light.
You litterally reached into some girls shirt, pulled out her tit and yelled whats up with this guy.
The bartender let me pay my bar tab with my itunes giftcards.
Guys, I'm sleeping in the BOYNTON LAUNDRY ROOM. if you can, come let me out in the morning as I have no keys. I might be in the study room possibly. DON'T FORGET. I will be trapped
She sucks dick like Beethoven on piano, but talking to her is like Simple Jack in Tropic Thunder. Still working out the pros vs cons list.
I need to get a life, I am either crying at every glee episode or just wanting to blow rails off photos of us
Unfortunately hes not a hipster douchebag with no life goals, so naturally I'm not interested.
I cnant read. Cheetos goen. Help. Grt Cheetos.
I should send him a pic of my crotch with the caption "thanks for the memories"
He walked up to anal ring toss like he was going to win you a teddy bear
bought a large fruitopia from McDonalds at 7:45 this morning. Spilled it on the ground. Cried. THAT hungover.
A shark bit my leg in the Gulf of Mexico well me and the T were banging so look for it in the papers
Trusting in Jesus is not a viable birth control plan.
Randomize
