Hot guy, man whore rep, huge crush, alcohol that will fuck you up. I fail to see how this could go wrong
There is an asian family here, I heard the mom call her son onyong
Bad news. Pictures just stimulated my memory and i just realized the stripper I hooked up with this weekend tasted like pizza.
just tripped. bootyfest 2012 will be my engagement party. i saw the whole future. i'm moving to the beach.
This is the first time since last march I'm gonna be going to a class for more reasons than wanting to bone the girl sitting next to me.
I fell asleep on the table at Denny's. Told the waitress to wake me up when my burger was there.
Ok more importantly someone in a chicken costume just stepped in front of my car and started breakdancing...
Decided in my tanked state last night purchase 2 weeks worth of xanax, so I can guess my way thru this week and finals. Soberly, I decided it would be a great way to test my knowledge of finance.
I just watched this dude try to convince this girl to go home with him. She was like, That's cute, you're cute.and she just walked away. Man I'm so not drunk enough to be around this level of sad.
Fun times on public transportation. I just had a guy imply that I was racist cause I didn't want to talk to him when I was clearly reading my book and he was clearly on coke.
I just realized that you're going to be drunk for daylight savings time again. Godspeed.
I love when my neighbors have passionate, loud sex to remind me that I'm not getting laid
I just talked comic books with a cop. We high-fived as he was running my name.
Proud of you.
We discussed the legality of being a vigilante. I won.
We had sex on a couch that was held together by Velcro. Want to know an unsexy sound? Velcro ripping apart under your bare ass.
A world without bacon flavored condoms is not one I want to live in.
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