what, no i told him that it wasnt nessesary to put all 5 fingers in my vagina
Omg Kevin Jonas is engaged!!!!!!
Omg really? To who. Gay marriage is only legal in like 3 states.
Is it weird I want to fuck the cartoon chick from e-surance??
the more i look through evidence of last night, the less i seem to remember.
Coming home soaking wet at three am and trying to convince the front desk man that we came from the library might have worked if I wasn't also roaring at everything.
Just managed to stab myself in the ass with a fork. I feel that as my best friend, I'm obligated by friend code to inform you of that sort of thing.
You kept trying to use my cat as a napkin.
I understand that just don't try to seduce me while making frozen pizza again.
Nothing says besties like laying naked in bed hungover arguing over who is getting the pants
Please tell me those naked pics were not your mom. Lie if you have to.
I brought a travel sized bottle of baby powder and sprinkled it on all of the couples making out on the wall in the basement
I should not be allowed to reproduce. The world doesn't need my sarcastic asshole demon spawn in child form
My guy issues hinge on tonight's game. Caps win, it's Dustin. Rangers win, Josh. I even flipped a coin to see who got what team
This is a question I thought I'd never have to ask. How many hits of acid did you give your dad tonight?
Only you would try street racing in a Volvo.
Randomize
