Mom and Dad are dead. Trust fund
so I was thinking like, Rob Pattinson could make so much money whoring himself out dressed as Edward Cullen.
yeah, I mean if he's down to fuck a lot of fat chicks and stare at Tiger Beat posters of himself above the bed...
I'm timing the release of my poops to the sound of the machine gun from the video game he's playing in the living room.
dude.. you lit a cigarette on the bus and told the driver it was okay because you were fire marshall of your boy scout troop
dont get me wrong, i like when a guy is into my boobs but when he started saying mama i want milk let me suck, i gathered my shit together and bounced.
I cannot believe how calm you were last night about telling Katie she was on fire.
She alternated between blowing me and feeding me bites of the sandwich she made for me.
Ok... I'm a little jealous... Grab her pig tails and ride her like a jet ski. Making motor noises is optional.
We're all getting matching jack daniels tattoos. We're gonna be an alcoholic gang of awesome.
I wish you were awake and high the same times I was awake and high. And also in the same state. So we can fuck passionately.
I figured you were on something. You're way too happy right now to be sober
Ugh, I should just give up, and fuck him in a parking lot, and shave my head and walk naked through the streets of King's Landing.
last night i was way too drunk and i was forcing people to let me tell them about mammals
right after that u started calling me g-force and started trying to bellyslide down his drive way
You and I both know it takes more than prescription narcotics to keep our family down. See you around ten, brother.
Randomize
