He is an equal opportunity slut.
She showed me her prom dress from 2001, which still had her date's cum stain on it.
Oh, so that's why you call her jizzarella....
Sandwiches are there for you when porn isn't.
her bf's celebrating 10 yrs of service at kfc...it's safe to say all the good men are taken
We had to put his head at the bottom of the driveway so the puke would run down. Now he's sleeping outside.
just had a memory of me telling homeless mark that it was the year of the bunny and he said "you da bunny, girl"
I think after that blow job he got the other day he'd set himself on fire if I asked.
I just want to have weird supply closet sex with him... and then I'll be all set. Fired, but all set.
Idk, you were a drunk pirate that kept stealing pieces of people's costumes to keep as your booty.
That would explain all the random shit in my room...
He tried to reenact Braveheart's freedom scream but got tackled by his drunk roommate who thought he was yelling that the handle he was holding up was free.
i hope you're proud of yourself! i just had to ask my boss to put ointment on the rugburn on my back. clothes hurt!
I can hear the pillow talk now, "how many condoms did you bring? Good, put them all on,"
I am the oldest one here and I STILL feel like I need an adult. help.
One of the Mormon boys that comes to the door is really sexy and I always think 'I would absolutely destroy your faith'
Just a little drinking. So much fun and love. The world is a shiny wonderful sphere in the sky so why shouldn't we celebrate?
Randomize
