when does round two start
I don't know, I gave up bartenders for lent
that last vodka shot was definitely the straw that broke the camels alcohol tolerance level
Oh i know my limit. 9 shots after i've given blood.
i could totally date him if i was just drunk the whole relationship
your stepbrother is rimming his martinis with coke... keeps saying "thank god its tuesday". where does funemployment end and intervention begin?
It's confirmed I did eat a ping pong ball last night...
creepy tank top guy is at campus health. he's hitting on a girl recovering from a panic attack.
I would not wish his dick upon my worst enemy
Do you have any pictures of me mounting animals that aren't on Facebook?
I just want my birth control to stop making me feel like I'm watching baby seals get clubbed to death any time anything even remotely unpleasant happens lol
fries before guys. food before dudes. shakes before dates. chips before dicks. lemon bars before football stars. macaroni before screwin' tony. what i'm saying is please come to ladies' night
What procrastination leads to: I have submitted a third of my job applications this week with a BAC that would get me arrested
Grab some lube and condoms and you get a free shirt? College is weird
Auto correct isn't even working for how drunk you are
Dude I pissed in her little brother's closet and when I tried to flush the doorknob her parents came out and saw me standing there naked, no more ambien for me
Randomize
